Friday, September 11, 2009
By all practical appearances, today started like any other day. A fluttering of eyelids and blurred vision from absent glasses; the complaints of muscles not too happy about being disturbed from slumber, and the distant sound of a train heralding the morning commute.
Just like any other day, except...
"Happy Birthday, Honey!" My husband murmurs, turning over and kissing me.
Today marks the last birthday I can claim as 40-something. Not calculating for the exact time I was born and leap years and such, I’m 8,760 hours, 365 days, and 52 weeks away from turning the big 5-0.
Turning 50 isn’t particularly scary or off-putting for me. Just… sobering. It’s sobering to note how quickly 50 years have passed, which means the next 50 will flash like lightning.
Even though choices I’ve made set the direction and became the blueprints of my life, each choice also led to new directions, obstacles and surprises that I never could have predicted.
For example, 25 years ago I never would have envisioned that my first born son, who would have been one year old at the time, would later be joined by three brothers, who in their adolescent years would name themselves The FOURCE. (I wanted four children, but the gender mix was never what I had in mind.) And yet, words cannot convey the joy and love my sons, now men, have brought into my life. I’m continually amazed by who they have become and are becoming, and count them among my dearest friends.
Twenty years ago I never would have imagined that I would become a Head of School. At the time I was completing a Masters in Education, with the plan of becoming a curriculum and children’s literature writer. While these two aspirations actually came to fruition, I never suspected my pursuits in education and gifts in administration would synthesize into a 15-year career as a school administrator.
Fifteen years ago I never would have predicated that my first husband and I were headed for trouble. I didn’t see it coming, although I should have. Divorces don’t just happen. But a split after 18 years of marriage was never in my original life plan.
And, 10 years ago I never would have guessed that I would be running a residential remodeling construction company, with my second husband. In fact, I would have laughed out loud at any fortune teller who saw this in her crystal ball. And yet – here I am: a five-year business owner. Enjoying it and relatively successful at it. Who would have thought?
But are these benchmarks, highs and lows the totality of my 49 years? They are the foundation and framing by which my life has been built upon to date, but what about the quality of the infrastructure? Am I in balance and in touch with the real me? Am I living out my purpose? Have I learned anything that can be shared as an encouragement to others?
There is one thing I know for sure. That is, while I have followed my dreams, faced complications and generally found my way in life, I’ve also come to recognize the work of a Master Architect/Builder overseeing this project called Tammy. From the beginning, He’s been putting things together in ways I never could have, with a vision of beauty I’m only just beginning to see.
So what’s next?
That’s what this blog will be about. As 50 moves from distant marker to in-my-face signpost, this will be a year of looking back, living in the moment, and launching ahead to align myself with the Master Plan. Because if there’s nothing else my 49 years have taught me, it’s that I’m A Woman Under Construction and God is not through with me yet!
I invite you to walk this year with me. As I reflect, I would hope that you would do so as well, and join me in uncovering the realities and truths that will resonate with anyone who is Under Construction, and seeking to live out master plans by becoming all God intends for them to become.